Mi corazon

I read this somewhere and it really resonated w me, particularly those first few weeks: “I'm convinced the newborn bubble is heaven on earth. Your whole body aches. You're running on zero sleep. You're learning your brand new baby. And yet, it's the most magical thing in the world.”

I wish i could feel the same about my husband and my marriage… I am trying to feel numb towards it so I can enjoy motherhood. Is that bad?

I just sometimes get really tired and mainly sad about his indifferent attitude and his sadness and depression… I sometimes picture a happy family where the husband and wife are happy together, smiling, hugging, kissing and holding their baby … but I know that’s not my reality and it might never be… so instead of focusing on that I try to soak up the love I have for her and these days that I will never get back and numb myself about how I feel about that… I know it could always be worse… but I made a choice and I have to live with the consequences… that’s my responsibility