The reason for my independence

 I always try to really get to the bottom of the issue and find my responsibility in everything that happens 

Tonight was a reminder of why I want to be independent: people can’t take responsibility or do what they are asked to do without at the end of the day needing me which makes me wonder why I ever asked them to help to start with

So in the moment this is my response: if I could go back in time I would have said no to their offer to help and just hired someone to do the work

BUT maybe I need to get to the bottom of this: I think I didn’t communicate my expectations. I should have said now that they are making the food they are responsible for setting it up and coming up w how they want to set it up. I did not want to have anything to do with making the food or setting up the food. Yes I did keep sending them ideas and at one point may have even said I will take care of the required dishes etc. 

I did tell them that I am getting my hair and makeup done starting at noon implying that I will not be available to help. But of course it was misinterpreted and somehow they thought i would be done in time to go w them and start helping them at 2. When did I offer to help them at my place or at the event?? I don’t know! My responsibility: lack of clear communication 

Although I am grateful that they are “helping” I don’t appreciate the fact that they stressed me out. I always think, if someone put me in charge of doing something i would get excited about it and make it beautiful specially if it’s my sister… but I guess all of that got lost because they thought i want it done a certain way and that i will tell them what to do

The truth is i am very disappointed and angry… yes they are still helping tomorrow but they are stressed and unhappy which makes me go back to what I said above: i wish i had just hired a caterer…

Really hard to find people you can rely on… but ok… my fault… my lack of communication 

But now you know why i do things myself and don’t ask for help… maybe because i am a bad communicator 

Chand bar shode keh komak khaastam vali aakharesh beh ghalat kardan oftadam… 

Tomorrow will be beautiful and magical regardless… it’s a day of celebration for the little miracle that’s within me and I can’t express how grateful and happy i am