Az haaleh alaanam napors...

Well it's passed 1 am so I dont know why I am still up... Last year at this time I was at a bad place emotionally... I am still sometimes grieving over my loss... Loss of the man I loved... He made me so happy... His presence made me so happy... The only guy that I was intimate with and wanted to be intimate with... The first guy that I saw a future with... The first guy that I could see my children with.. The first guy that I was in denial with... The firat guy that I was blind with... The first guy who would've destroyed my life if I stayed with... There's such a thin line between love and hate... It's only around "that time of the month" that I go this deep and allow myself to think about it... Thank god that I never became pregnant with him....