Uh oh....I'm f***ed up again.....

So he's in a bad mood this weekend...... he thinks nobody really cares about him..... he likes to go and live alone by himself in the nature... hearing him say those things made me really concerned ...... on the one hand I get it.... on the other hand I wish I could help him....I'm his daughter for god's sake... why can't I show any love and compassion? God knows that I love my parents so much..... I just can't show it.... they're both SO kind and amazing..... which is another reason why I think I need to see a "counselor" or a psychologist.... one of the reasons why I'm ok with going away is because I think that I have a LOT MORE growing up to do .... and my parents do SPOIL me to the point that I am not in need of anyone else's love or attention..... but at the end of the day I think that they are "tricking" me ...... not that what they do is not sincere.... because it is..... that I'm sure of.... but I can't just be a machine that goes to work and comes home and does nothing..... I NEED TO have friends...... and perhaps even a boyfriend....not that they're against it..... but I haven't found either yet! Am I running away? I really don't want to think of it that way but I think I am in a way running away..... it's going to be another fresh start...... need to make a good impression.... #1 rule: be powerful!

so yes, beside the many other things that I need to do: I NEED TO see a psychiatrist! I just can't figure everything out by myself...... just simply can't!