I have found some clarity....
About life?
No!
About my "dating" situation....you know my rejection letter yesterday was a big deal.... I am once again "homeless" ...... One thing that I'm sure about is that I don't want to start a relationship when I don't know about where I'm going to stay....... but at the same time, I know that if I find a "potential" I may reconsider....
Last night I had told the "first guy" that we could go out...... but then I called him and after speaking with him and hearing things like "how come you don't miss me?" I got scared and decided not to go out with him.... especially since he wanted to go out at like 11:30!!! Ok call me a grandma, but after a long week of not getting good night sleeps I'm not going to go out on a second "date" with someone that I barely know and I'm not even that interested in when I'm so tired!!! In general, I don't like going to bed late at night! If this was a bf or something I may have reconsidered...... anyways...... it's just the same old story.... they are head over hills in love on the first date... I feel nothing...... and in this case he's not even a potential..... so ...... I think he's out of the "game"......
As with the second guy..... he has been behaving a little bit better....... :) ...... Although I don't know him that welll either at least I'm willing to give it a try.....so I may go out with him tomorrow.... BUT what is always at the back of my head is the fact that I'm here for only a few weeks...so what the h*** am I doing????
There's this guy from french class too......he's black...... cute but I think he's like 40 or something!!! but when I think about it he's the safest case :)) no I'm not joking!!!! I wish I could somehow find out his age..... looool ..... ok I'm gonna stop right here....... everyone I know around me is jobless.. I don't care about this guy in particular... I think as him as a possible opportunity for "fun" ..... not that I am that type of person!!!! these days I am wondering about what type of person I am..... is who I am close to who I should/ want to be?
anyways..... one thing is for sure..... and that is that I'm trying.......
Now need to find a job........
:( .....sometimes I want to cry but I don't...... if you ask me about how I feel right now it's something very close to "vaista donya... vaista donya, man mikhaam piaadeh sham......."
in hame charkhidio charkhoondi akharesh chi shod? in kilideh shanse daret begoo ghesmate ki shod?
I'm kind of sad...... and that is the truth...... I just don't know what I'm going to do with myself at the end of this contract!
a big SIGH
No!
About my "dating" situation....you know my rejection letter yesterday was a big deal.... I am once again "homeless" ...... One thing that I'm sure about is that I don't want to start a relationship when I don't know about where I'm going to stay....... but at the same time, I know that if I find a "potential" I may reconsider....
Last night I had told the "first guy" that we could go out...... but then I called him and after speaking with him and hearing things like "how come you don't miss me?" I got scared and decided not to go out with him.... especially since he wanted to go out at like 11:30!!! Ok call me a grandma, but after a long week of not getting good night sleeps I'm not going to go out on a second "date" with someone that I barely know and I'm not even that interested in when I'm so tired!!! In general, I don't like going to bed late at night! If this was a bf or something I may have reconsidered...... anyways...... it's just the same old story.... they are head over hills in love on the first date... I feel nothing...... and in this case he's not even a potential..... so ...... I think he's out of the "game"......
As with the second guy..... he has been behaving a little bit better....... :) ...... Although I don't know him that welll either at least I'm willing to give it a try.....so I may go out with him tomorrow.... BUT what is always at the back of my head is the fact that I'm here for only a few weeks...so what the h*** am I doing????
There's this guy from french class too......he's black...... cute but I think he's like 40 or something!!! but when I think about it he's the safest case :)) no I'm not joking!!!! I wish I could somehow find out his age..... looool ..... ok I'm gonna stop right here....... everyone I know around me is jobless.. I don't care about this guy in particular... I think as him as a possible opportunity for "fun" ..... not that I am that type of person!!!! these days I am wondering about what type of person I am..... is who I am close to who I should/ want to be?
anyways..... one thing is for sure..... and that is that I'm trying.......
Now need to find a job........
:( .....sometimes I want to cry but I don't...... if you ask me about how I feel right now it's something very close to "vaista donya... vaista donya, man mikhaam piaadeh sham......."
in hame charkhidio charkhoondi akharesh chi shod? in kilideh shanse daret begoo ghesmate ki shod?
I'm kind of sad...... and that is the truth...... I just don't know what I'm going to do with myself at the end of this contract!
a big SIGH
posted by TolooehFardaa at
9:27 AM
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