So what happened next? A reminder to myself!

A reminder/proof to myself that if something ever happens in the future I have only myself to blame!

I ended up crying last night and sending him and e-mail saying what he said about me needing to go out with a guy was mean and the fact that he did it intentionally knowing that he would hurt me doesn't make sense to me. I also told him that he needs to learn to apologize. And that maybe we were never right for each other and that maybe I will consider dating other guys but if I ever do I will make sure that they know how to apologize! So I said maybe it's a good idea that we break up and I hope he finds the right "one".....

Guess what his reply was?

........

That he did not say what he said to hurt me. That he really thinks if I go to the movies / dinner with a guy will  be good for me!!!! And that I should grow up ;) and stop crying!!!!!!!

What happened next?

........

I smiled!!!!!!!! And thought to myself that's typical H!!! I couldn't have expected much more from him. But he still hadn't apologizeD!!!!!!!!!!! So I was planning to ignore his msgs for the whole day......

So first msg was about what he was having for lunch.......
Second one about something that he was making fun of......
And third warning me not to watch a movie that he saw the night before because it was crap!!!! And he said donya doroozeh.....

Guess what I did next?

I replied! Because honestly for some reason I wasn't mad at him!!!! This was his way of showing me he cares! Believe it or not it is! I don't know why I am like that!!!!!!!!! Why am I so patient? I don't know if I should thank god for creating me this way or be mad at him? Most people can stay mad at others for a long time and not give up until they're apologized to but me... everything will be back to normal as soon as I hear back from the other person.... there's seriously something wrong with me!!!!!!!

So I only have myself to blame if something worse happens in the future because I reply to him and don't let him realize that he does really need to apologize. It's like a mom caring for a child and as soon as they cry or yell they give them what they want because all they want is to see the child smile again!

So what's next?

Honestly I'm trying to help myself be a bit more serious. For the next little while I'm going to be somewhat indifferent towards him .....or at least try........ because honestly he may never get me!!!!!! Right now he sent me a msg saying he is out with his guy friends drinking..... one thing that I LOVE ABOUT HIM is that he never gets drunk..... I am not a big fan of drinking but this is another thing that might become problematic in the end:

1) Throughout his life he has found drinking to help him ... because it helps him forget about what's going on around him even if it is for just a few hours. I myself don't like this!
2) He is still a child!!!!!!!!!!!!! He likes going out with his friends, get wasted, hit on the waitress etc!
3) And the list goes on........

Whatever.... for now I don't have the energy for anything too crazy....... I'm living my life...... I know I'm getting old..... but I just need to focus on a few things before I am back to normal!