I need a glimpse of hope!

I feel like I am just a walking robot these days..... nothing excites me at all.... ok it's not at a 0 level yet... maybe a 2-3 ...... 3 months ago and for the past 2 years it was never any lower than a 7 so this is not a familiar feeling and I don't like it...... I'm alive but I am not living.....

I know I have SO MUCH to be thankful for...... but I am just a human being..... and like many of you out there, I focus on what is not working for me and that becomes my whole life..... what can I do? how can I focus on anything else other than the fact that I don't have a job? ....

Anyways...... don't want to complain..... but I really really reallllllly need a glimpse of hope.....

I know I was given the chance and I screwed up...... but I don't want that to be the end of it.......

By the way, it's supposed to be that time of the month but it isn't.......should i be worried?

For some reason I'm still somewhere between :-| and :)...... which means there's still hope........

G night! :)