Goftam ya nagoftam?

Gom ke mishavi nemidaani be donbaaleh kodaamin afsaaneyeh door baayad begardi...

I came on a mini trip with my friend and I'm going back in a few days.... It is givin me a break from all the job hunting craziness, and all the family drama! Sometimes I want to run away from everything... this is a feeling that I've had for many many years.... I guess the only time that I didn't feel this way was when I was away.... in what I once called "the city of love"....everything was always so perfect there..... I was always busy and, even though it was at times very hard, I enjoyed most of my time there because everything that I did was a new experience for me.... but right now my life has become so boring and repetative, and worse than having a repatitive job is a repatitive life..

Sometimes I feel like if I don't live with family I will try harder, I don't know how true that is.... but I'm so crazy I may move in January to see how things go... the destination will probably be Toronto.... or Montreal..... Haven't decided yet.....I will spend about 2 months there, and then go to Ottawa to do my temporary summer job that's not gonna get me anywhere but it will help me pay for the cost of my trip.... I'm still waiting to hear about my test results..... those tests were harddd..... I don't know what to do or expect of myself anymore....... I just want to somehow be happy....... I'm tired of the family drama!!!!! And I'm tired of being without a job!!!!!

PS I love my family..... I wish I was less selfish...... because I know that they will miss me when I'm gone....