Not asking it to slow down......

For me life has been going at a faster pace than I had imagined...... I'm fully thankful to god..... I'm not complaining at all since I know that there's a force that's helping me / pushing me go forward since I've always felt like I've been behind...... I feel like I'm slowly catching up..... I have learned that one thing that everyone should pray for is going the right direction and making the right choice ....... that's why I like the "Hamd" Sourah (From Qur'an) .... I'm not a religious person..... but I have a few beliefs.... As immigrants we should accept that no matter how hard we try we will forever be different from those that were born and raised here ... we will always have the lack of being surrounded by family or relatives...... but one thing that my friend told me that really made a home run was the fact that we may be the first generation here but years from now our children will have what we did not and that should be enough to help us move forward..... There are a few things that I'm confused about.... there are a few things that I don't understand about myself and my feelings..... still working on recovering me ... I'm sure there are psychological explenations and if I talk to a psychologist I may be able to figure it out.... but I feel like I've made a lot of progress so am just gonna wait and see what happens..... Perhaps a big part of why I'm happy is because I have someone in my hard that I care about a lot..... we have had many ups and downs in our relationship and there may be a lot of uncertainties as to what will happen....He's someone that's also very different from those around him....and no matter what he does I never get mad at him..... which I'm not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing! I always get upset for making him upset or I get upset because even if I'm 100% sure what he's done is wrong, he just doesn't get it and he thinks he's at no fault!!! But at the end of the day he has done so many things that has touched my heart so deeply that I just don't want to get mad at him.... and there's a dillema: 1) I know if I don't tell him he will never learn 2) I don't want to tell him because I believe that no one is perfect! Our relationship has been very strange and unusual.... and I don't know what will happen..... we are probably not gonna be living in the same city anytime soon either.... I will be patient... time will give me all the answers :) My life has literally once again begun..... I need to find a job and figure out what I wanna do!