Sad

I went to bed last night crying...... whenever I cry at night I get a headache the next day so I told myself to stop...

Right after I posted here last night he called me....he sounded all cheerful and energetic as he usually does.... which is one of the things that I love about him...... as soon as he started talking I thought to myself this is why I can't get mad at him...... because he doesn't really know how much the things he says makes me upset.....(and I'm still crying) ..... but then he started asking questions about the apartment...... and he was mad at why he has to turn it into a questionaire ..... why can't I give him all the details myself..... and then he said it's ok he's gonna come here and see the place himself.... I was so mad.... tried to keep talking to him...... then he asked about my day...... I wasn't in the mood to talk at all......and he said "you never talk, I always have to ask you questions in order for you to talk......and u know what I'm out of questions......" ...... and he said it's better if we talk tomorrow before he gave me a chance to answer his last question..... and I said ok ...... bye.....

(I usually don't like to talk at the end of the day.... I'm always tired and not in my best mood at all..... )

Then I started crying..... sometimes I don't know why I try...... all the other times that I'm with him I'm happy...... because I know that deep down inside he likes me...... but I also keep telling myself that's not enough...... I'm not what he's looking for so why push it? I woke up half an hour ago.... thankfully he had sent me a msg asking me to check my e-mail..... I wasn't sure what was gonna be in it as I had eventually sent him an e-mail last night saying I removed our picture from the background.....

I don't know why I can't stop crying.....maybe I should get up and wash my face......

have a good day....