Yesterday and Today
Yesterday when I woke up in the morning I felt like a dead person. Then decided to message him and tell him that I'm willing to go and give him his watch (since I took it from him the last time I saw him to make sure that he comes and sees me the next day! See how romantic I am? But of course, he didn't come because of a stupid misunderstanding that I still think that was his fault!) But he told me that it's ok and I can give it back to him this Saturday when I go to his friends for dinner with a bunch of other people. So I was like hmm he doesn't want to see me before! Ok!!! And then I missed him terribly for the rest of the day and sent him some messages that apparently turned out to be none sense to him! I felt weird for the rest of the day until I went and got my French Vanilla w coffee and after that I felt a bit better and I was a bit happier by the end of the night. When I got home I noticed that he's said on FB that he doesn't want to use his phone / FB for the next 24 hours because he has some thinking to do! And the more I think about it the more I feel like I was used!!!! And by used I mean he played with me. How can we break up and him not even tryyyyy to get back? He told me that I think our relationship is so meaningless for telling him every week that I want to break up with him. But I can swear that I didn't feel like he likes me. He didn't do a single thing that proved to me he still cared!
Examples:
1) I told him that I'm scared when I walk home at night, meaning that I want him to call me so I won't be scared, and he didn't.
2) I told him that I'm sitting next to the neighbour in the bus stop who is old and flirty and I'm scared of him, meaning that I want him to call me so that I don't have to talk to the stranger, but he didn't
3) I told him that I love the tulips and flowers, and told him that I want to go to the tulips festival, he didn't make plans to go to the festiival
4) I told him that I'm going to the hospital for having twisted my ankle, he asked me if I want him to come and I said no. But he should have!
5) I invited him and his friend to my place with my friend for what I thought was for lunch but then he told me that I'd never told him it's for lunch so he had gone and ate his lunch with his friend and thought that I had asked them to come over after and since I was already so mad at him thinking why the hell would they eat their lunch when I had invited them over my friend told his friend that I don't want them to come over anymore because I'm mad at them. If he had called / messaged me to see why I was mad at him he'd have explained and everything would have been fine. But he didn't care that I was mad and didn't even bother to ask me why!
Am I a complicated person? Or are these things that people do understand without having to be told. I know he's inexperienced but I really felt like the things he was doing wasn't equal to things that a person who cares about you would do. So I told him that I'm breaking up with him (every time!) because I feel like he doesn't love me. And he told me that he does and he doesn't understand what he should do to prove it. But I really didn't believe him!!!! And today I'm mad at him...... we'll see if that will be the case for the rest of the day.
Examples:
1) I told him that I'm scared when I walk home at night, meaning that I want him to call me so I won't be scared, and he didn't.
2) I told him that I'm sitting next to the neighbour in the bus stop who is old and flirty and I'm scared of him, meaning that I want him to call me so that I don't have to talk to the stranger, but he didn't
3) I told him that I love the tulips and flowers, and told him that I want to go to the tulips festival, he didn't make plans to go to the festiival
4) I told him that I'm going to the hospital for having twisted my ankle, he asked me if I want him to come and I said no. But he should have!
5) I invited him and his friend to my place with my friend for what I thought was for lunch but then he told me that I'd never told him it's for lunch so he had gone and ate his lunch with his friend and thought that I had asked them to come over after and since I was already so mad at him thinking why the hell would they eat their lunch when I had invited them over my friend told his friend that I don't want them to come over anymore because I'm mad at them. If he had called / messaged me to see why I was mad at him he'd have explained and everything would have been fine. But he didn't care that I was mad and didn't even bother to ask me why!
Am I a complicated person? Or are these things that people do understand without having to be told. I know he's inexperienced but I really felt like the things he was doing wasn't equal to things that a person who cares about you would do. So I told him that I'm breaking up with him (every time!) because I feel like he doesn't love me. And he told me that he does and he doesn't understand what he should do to prove it. But I really didn't believe him!!!! And today I'm mad at him...... we'll see if that will be the case for the rest of the day.
posted by TolooehFardaa at
6:42 AM
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