Aasheghi divaanegist....divaanegi ham aalami daarad!

I'm in the recovery mode..... I hope....
I feel nothing.... most of the times at least...... I feel so lost..... I miss him :(

I wanted to send him a message and tell him that I miss him but then I decided to be strong....... I mean there was/ is a reason why I decided that I don't want to be in a relationship with him...... but when he told me that he doesn't want to be in a relationship with me my heart stopped...... I can't describe the feeling..... all of a sudden my hands were cold.... my mind was going crazy.....and my voice was shaking...

I miss him like a kharrrrrrr......yani badjooooooor :( ...... I must work on myself..... all these insecurities prevent me from wanting to be in a relationship.... I hate feeling insecure..... but everytime I like someone that's the first thing that comes to my mind and I run away.......

NEW GOAL: WORK ON YOURSELF...... be a man......do the right thing lol