Meh....

Ok fine......... I'll say it....... :(

I feel lost....... I can't change.........it's so hard...... when I was coming here I told myself that I'm not doing this for school........I'm not even doing it for him...........I'm doing it so I can grow......so I can learn how to interact with real people...........I def don't call spending all your time in the library interacting with people!!!

I kind of found some friends.......he introduced them to me......... and I donnow......even though I like them I think one of them likes me.......and u know how I freak out when I dont like someone and notice that they like me!!! He hasnt said anything......or he said it as a joke.......he asked me out as a joke............and he freaking paid for my dinner twice already........and gave me rides from here to there and in general he's done a lot........and I feel badddd...... so I decided to stop hanging out with them.......even though they're cute...... I like them.......but I dont want them to fall in love with me! Why don't they get ittttttt? I dont want to be in a relationshippppppp........ I mean even if I do.......they're not right for me...........

I close my eyes and wish for a knight in shining armor :)

Good night