It's not u..............it's me
"I'm not good enough for you" ... that was the joke of the day!!! lol ..........fekr kon...... migeh i'm not good enough for u........
trying to find myself again........ i truely want to grow up alone....... watch me grow up alone........ i dont want a relationship.........
considering that i've been a "normal" person for about 7 months now i'm kinda proud of myself.... i feel like i've developed a lot of friendships with a lot of people..... i definately can't call myself alone anymore........ i have the stren gth to make new friendships without feeling consicous about how i look!
there is only one question that remains in my head............is it wrong to be friends with all kinds of people.......... like the kind of uncool and geeky people.......... divorced people....... people that think they are cool but nobody really likes them............
u know what i'm mad....... these people that think they are cool should really give themselves a reality check! like seriously........... they are not capable of making any friendships caz they think they are too good for anyone! who do they think they are? they keep criticizing me but the fact is that i'm not even one bit jealous of them..... becauz i don't consider them people that have succeeded in life as a person..........even though they are successfull people that are independent and bluh bluh bluh they have serious problems caz they have very high standards ........... and the funny thing is that they think that you should give everyone a chance........... "oh why don't u go out with him? u'r gonna stay alone forever with this kinda thinking.......so what if he's short, younger, etc...... u have to give him a chance...... u have to experience something....... you have to start from somewhere........don't think that the cool guys are gonna come after you........ they'll get scared if u tell them u have no experience"
u know what? F that! seriously ....... i dont care about what those guys think........ maybe it's over for me.......... maybe i won't ever find anyone........ but so what? people go through more horrible things than being alone! why do i have to have a relationship in order to be considered normal? what's the point of getting married, having kids, having fights with ur husband...... getting mad that u got fat after having a kid........ being stressed about not being a good enough mom........ having sleepless nights..... crying over the fact that u think ur husband is not interested in u anymore....... all of that.......is that what i really want in life?
is it really that bad to stay alone..... get a place of my own......... help those around me......financially and emotionally........ and then just die....... is this way of living really that bad? do i have to go through the marriage, kid, depression, divorced in order to become "complete"?
i'm tired of getting criticized about being alone............ really really tired of it......... i know that they think i'm gonna wake up one day regretting why i didnt use my "youth" to have fun......... and i'm scared too.......... i'm scared of that happening...... but i like being different....... i wanna write a story about it some day....... the girl that grew old without ever being loved.... never been kissed........ all that........
i know it's gonna scare people away......... i mean it's gonna scare guys away.... so i choose to be alone! and since ive never had any experience i dont think it will make me that sad ......... caz i dont have anything to compare my loneliness with..........
All i can say is that i'm a more accomplished and social "loner" than i was a year ago.... and i'm proud of that :D
trying to find myself again........ i truely want to grow up alone....... watch me grow up alone........ i dont want a relationship.........
considering that i've been a "normal" person for about 7 months now i'm kinda proud of myself.... i feel like i've developed a lot of friendships with a lot of people..... i definately can't call myself alone anymore........ i have the stren gth to make new friendships without feeling consicous about how i look!
there is only one question that remains in my head............is it wrong to be friends with all kinds of people.......... like the kind of uncool and geeky people.......... divorced people....... people that think they are cool but nobody really likes them............
u know what i'm mad....... these people that think they are cool should really give themselves a reality check! like seriously........... they are not capable of making any friendships caz they think they are too good for anyone! who do they think they are? they keep criticizing me but the fact is that i'm not even one bit jealous of them..... becauz i don't consider them people that have succeeded in life as a person..........even though they are successfull people that are independent and bluh bluh bluh they have serious problems caz they have very high standards ........... and the funny thing is that they think that you should give everyone a chance........... "oh why don't u go out with him? u'r gonna stay alone forever with this kinda thinking.......so what if he's short, younger, etc...... u have to give him a chance...... u have to experience something....... you have to start from somewhere........don't think that the cool guys are gonna come after you........ they'll get scared if u tell them u have no experience"
u know what? F that! seriously ....... i dont care about what those guys think........ maybe it's over for me.......... maybe i won't ever find anyone........ but so what? people go through more horrible things than being alone! why do i have to have a relationship in order to be considered normal? what's the point of getting married, having kids, having fights with ur husband...... getting mad that u got fat after having a kid........ being stressed about not being a good enough mom........ having sleepless nights..... crying over the fact that u think ur husband is not interested in u anymore....... all of that.......is that what i really want in life?
is it really that bad to stay alone..... get a place of my own......... help those around me......financially and emotionally........ and then just die....... is this way of living really that bad? do i have to go through the marriage, kid, depression, divorced in order to become "complete"?
i'm tired of getting criticized about being alone............ really really tired of it......... i know that they think i'm gonna wake up one day regretting why i didnt use my "youth" to have fun......... and i'm scared too.......... i'm scared of that happening...... but i like being different....... i wanna write a story about it some day....... the girl that grew old without ever being loved.... never been kissed........ all that........
i know it's gonna scare people away......... i mean it's gonna scare guys away.... so i choose to be alone! and since ive never had any experience i dont think it will make me that sad ......... caz i dont have anything to compare my loneliness with..........
All i can say is that i'm a more accomplished and social "loner" than i was a year ago.... and i'm proud of that :D
posted by TolooehFardaa at
10:14 PM
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