What if I don't want to mate?

As you all probably know by now (because I have said it a million times) I'm one of those people that wants to continue this journey alone.........

So you may ask why.......... and believe me I do have an answer for you it's just a bit hard to explain so maybe I will put them all in point forms as they come to mind and u can put them together (or I will put it together on another day)

1) The thought of ever being rejected ... I know it will destroy me so why even start?

2) What if I find someone better ...... or worse (is it?) ......... what if he finds someone better?

3) The possibility of getting embarressed at one point or another for things that I don't know/ have forgotten / can't do..........

So these are the main reasons why I like to stay single, help others that are in need without getting myself too involved in anything........... and leave them before they start having high expectations

I'm very satisfied with that explanation

Having said all that can I ask ME why I've started becoming interested in every single PHD student alive? Maybe not ALL of them but a good 4-5 of them......... I guess I should read the 3 points above everytime I think of a relationship........

Forgive me for saying this......... I know I'm not supposed to bring up his name......... but I was thinking back then when I talked to JV I remember the thing that I liked about the whole thing was the fact that he ( the coolest guy on earth in my opinion back then) wanted to talk to me ..... he liked calling me.......... he never said anything negative about me.......... not even once...........

anyways.......... good night!