Tanhaayi hameyeh vojoodameh, mano tanhaa bezarin?

Hmm.........

I really wish I knew why I love being alone so much. I mean most of the people that I know are really great, fun people. So what is the reason that makes me not want to spend time with them and instead be alone? I do think if I get a bf I would like to be social and go out, but at the moment, I feel ........ empty. Being around people doesn't excite me that much.

For example, I went out yesterday and it was one of the most memorable days of my life. I had a lot of fun, we went on a motor boat with my "friends" and after that went to the movies and dinner. Yes I had fun. But in my head it was just another way to waste time to get through another day.

There is too much on my mind, my family and myself of course are the first things that come to mind. Then my career, future, and their future.

Anyways...........

I was thinking today about how much I love kids. It's amazing. Before my sister had her baby I had no idea how I feel about babies and kids. Yes, it is a lot of work to take care of them. But at the same time they are so beautiful and innocent that you can't help but to love them. Like in my head I'm thinking that baby sitting is fun and maybe that's what I should do for life........ weird!! Lol .....

I'm so glad that my niece was born. She really makes me happy. She's one of the only people that I truely love. It's good to love (even if i'm not loved in return........at least not yet........ or maybe she does show me love by staying in my arms quietly........ it feels really good to hold her........ can't wait for her to grow up......... then I can actually hug her ........ and go out with her........... yay!!! :D :D ) ........... :)