p.s.

maybe I'm a selfish person........... throughout my life what I had in mind was to live my life and help people along the way........... not to go out of my way to help someone....... you see ......... if I did not take those shifts for next week it would have meant that I have gone out of my way to be with my sister and help her out....... and yesterday I was really confused about why I had to do that ....... why should I give up my shifts to go to her place............

but then it hit me............today I feel like I must go to her house......... because I have to be there to take care of her......... and not going there is not even an option in my mind now.........so why did I even accept those shifts in the first place when I knew that she would be home alone?!! I dont know........ I really don't.......

maybe this is something else that was meant to happen?

she messaged me again saying: "you should go to work next week.........hopefully nothing will happen on Monday and Tuesday when you're not there.......... I was just really looking forward to spending the week together with you ......... but that's not what you wanted........and it's ok"

why would she want me to feel guilty like that? am I the only person who thinks that people should not say things like that to hurt one another?

hmmm......... I think I'm the type of person that's very cautious with the words.......and I hurt people through my actions .... NEVER my words! so maybe I should focus more on what I'm doing rather than what I'm saying from now on...........