Insecurities..........

I haven't really changed now, have I?

So what I'm thinking to myself is this....... if this person is the "picture perfect" person what the **** is he doing talking to me? Concluding that he's probably not the ideal, then what am I doing talking to him? Repeat x1000 ......

The answer has also remained the same......... in order to love someone you have to love yourself first.......... and this first step has certainly not been accomplished.......... I guess part of reaching it requires the presence of another person but since I always go back to the paragraph above I tend to get confused in the middle of my thoughts and do a bit of this and that never knowing which one is right........ by sometimes extremely focusing on my "career" and at other times looking for "love" .......... I guess what I'm trying to say is that this is a never ending process......... but since my passion for becoming complete is more than that of reaching love (hoping that love will come after the "completion") I have stayed single for so long.........

you see.......... my problem is that I always have this idea of finally reallly accomplishing something ......... like getting a degree.......... or getting a really good job......... and in my head the only time that I will be able to finally be happy with myself is that......... and if i dont reach "that" then there will be none of "this" (love) ......... get it?

I'm imprefect........ but I have the potential to be complete.......... or as I sometimes think in my head>>>I'm a good investment........