Ghosseh beh joz geryeh davaa nadaare khodaa nadaareh......

U know seeing your family falling apart is not easy at all.......

I was 12......... but I didn't understand the meanning of sadness......... I never truely got hurt by seeing my grandma sick.......she always prayed to god that she'd die........ even in front of us.......she said it out loud......... and now that I think about it.......... now that I think about how miserable her life was........... and how sad my dad, my uncle, and grandpa should have been...... I can't even imagine the pain they were in.......

What's even harder is to see that a member of your family........ someone that you love and care about so much be depressed......... and have another member of your family........who is so careless.......to go away on the weekend.......and not even call........and make this loved one even more upset and depressed...........

What am I to do? To feel sorry for my dad......... and be mad at my brother for being so careless?

What can I do to make this better?

Even sleeping 12 hours a day is not making it any less painful........