Ma'nieh Doost daashtan! The story, the dillema, and the confusion! Overwhelmed with emotions...

So here is the story
Ever since I was very little...... I was only interested in having 1 friend at a time......... I don't know why......... or maybe it was because I only found 1 person that I could connect with (for some reason they were always very rare!) ......The friend that I had from grade 1 - 3 was Sh ..... then we moved to a new apartment and back then we didn't have the convinience of e-mailing etc so I wrote to her every once in a while ......lol ....... when I was in grade 4 there were only 5 people in my class and then like 10 people in grade 5.......so maybe that's when my depression started....... lol ....... but I had a really great friend in grade 6 who broke my heart at the beginning of grade 7 and I was happy that I was moving to Canada at that time to leave all the sadness and my broken heart behind ...... LOL........
anyways........
The reason why I'm writing this here is because......... after a longgg time........ I have found another person that makes me happy....... they are really rare to finddddd and I have found one............ but here is the dillema........... I really really like him A LOT........ unlike the many other people that I know who I feel indifferent about..... this guy is like an angel...... whenever I see him I enjoy the true meaning of happiness which rarely exist in my world..........he, however, ignores me A LOT which makes me sad and mad and god knows how many times I have got mad/sad since the beginning of this semester ,and at times even cried, for liking someone so much and not being able to do anything about it..........because the pure honest truth is that I really really like him........as an angel......... and nothing more........... I don wanna say i like him as a brother because that wouldn't be true....... but I also wouldnt say that I want a relationship ....... I just wanted a friendship........but since I'm emotionally unstable the chances of me not feeling anything towards this person in the near future is pretty high...... but for now........today and for the past few monthes ....... I have enjoyed talking to him....... eventhough in total it might have been less than 5 hours in person......... and 20-30 hours online.........and 1-2 hours on the phone ...... lol.......:D
Some things, like this, are easy to explain........ but u can't really expect someone to actually understand what this all means........!!
I didn't really want to write this here after I talked to him on the phone........but before I came home today I was about to cry because I was looking really forward to seeing him and I didn't see him in the end...........and I was sad and mad for having all my emotions towards only ONE person and ignoring the rest of the people in my life.......... he just gives me lots of positive energy and everytime I see him my brain cells wake up so I can study...... but the opposite happened today ....... anyways as I was saying I wanted to come home and write all this here but after talking to him I calmed down and didn't feel the need that I have to write something here......... but I did anyways........
I want my freedom back... I don't want to have this feeling of NEED ..... so maybe I will end this whole thing with this song.......
اونقدرعاشق میشمعاشق میشمعاشق میشمعاشق میشمعاشق میشم ...اونقدر از تو میگم که میون اسم توتوی آسمون عشق رنگین کمون پیدا بشهاونقدر عاشق میشم که تو سرزمین عشقبعد مجنون یه نفر صاحب نشون پیدا بشهتو مگه قلب منی که صدای نفسات هر جا هستم با منه ؟تو مگه عمر منی که دم و بازدمم تو رو فریاد میزنه ؟فقط تو رو ، داره فریاد میزنهتو هوای تازهٔ زندگی هستیکه تو قصر آرزو هایم نشستیتو همون معجزه و لطف خداییکه طلسم نا امیدی رو شکستیتو مگه قلب منی که صدای نفسات هر جا هستم با منه ؟تو مگه عمر منی که دم و بازدمم تو رو فریاد میزنه ؟فقط تو رو ، داره فریاد میزنهمیون گلها نرو ، سخته پیدا کردنتآخه تو خودت گلی ، چه قشنگه دیدنتمیون گلها نرو ، سخته پیدا کردنتگل خجالت میکشه از تو و خندیدنتتو مگه قلب منی که صدای نفسات هر جا هستم با منه ؟تو مگه عمر منی که دم و بازدمم تو رو فریاد میزنه ؟فقط تو رو ، داره فریاد میزنهتو هوای تازهٔ زندگی هستیکه تو قصر آرزو هایم نشستیتو همون معجزه و لطف خداییکه طلسم نا امیدی رو شکستیتو مگه قلب منی که صدای نفسات هر جا هستم با منه ؟تو مگه عمر منی که دم و بازدمم تو رو فریاد میزنه ؟فقط تو رو ، داره فریاد میزنه