Looking at my.... life............. it's so empty........nothing exciting.......

I'm sad....... I can't think of anything that makes me happy......there's no one around me that can make me happy.......... hanging out around the people I know doesn't make me happy....... maybe the reason is because they are not happy........ or in my opinion they don't seem happy........ I don't know anyone around me that is the way I want them to me....... no one treats me how I want to be treated........

my so called "Friend" cancels her own plans....... I really like going to the airport and I was really looking forward to going to the airport with her today ....... because she'd told me a week ago that she'd go to the ariport with me on saturday....... so I was really happy and excited about this ( lol ..... how sad is my life?)...... anyways....... I call her yesterday to see when she want to go..... and then she tells me "oh i'm going with my parents........" ....... like nothing happened........

oh god ......... why does this life have to be like this? why do i have to have her as my friend? why does she make me mad SO MAD at least once or twice a week? how can I leave her? HOW? wouldn't people think that I am crazy if I stop talking to my ONLY friend? wouldn't I get depressed if I do that?

I'm having such a bad day........ I feel like I want to explode.......

I'm beginning to like this guy that I chat with......... I actually called him yesterday........ he's so wonderful.......and so not my type.......well maybe he is but he's too far from where I live....... I don't think I want to start anything with him......... because....... you know........ one shall never make the same mistake twice! .........