Finding my "ideal".......
Let me tell you about how I'm doing these days......
They called me on friday to schedule me a shift from 11- 5 but I thought I want to have that day off because it was such a beautiful sunny day.....I'd planned to go for a run in the morning and then spend the rest of the day shopping or just chilling in Ambleside park........ but guess what ??? that didn't happen!
I was in bed until noon......finally got up....wasted another hour.....took a shower.... (that rhymed ;))......then......came out....... at around 3 watched Dr. Phil until 4.......then got ready to go out...... missed my bus.....decided to stay home ..... and started reading a book named "hasti".......
it's a pretty good book.....quite long though!
anyways........after realizing that I will go crazy by staying at home......I took someones shift on sunday(today) ......and then talked to my parents......and read that book......+ the safe driving guide.......I have to keep myself busy otherwise I'll go crazy.......
and u know what.......the thought of finding love has become such an unreachable idea that I don't even think about it that much......
Mr. V is the last one......and I know that I didn't try to make it work because I don't think too much of myself..... and whenever I think about trying harder I think about him first........and what / how I need to be in order to get a guy like that!!!
I'm not nessecarily saying that he's the one...... in fact he is not.... he's an example of someone who could be an ideal match for me.......and I will try to complete myself in order to believe that someone like that could someday want me.....
wow......how aasheghaaneh...lol.....
but it's true.....on the other hand.....right now....... I think NOTHING about myself.....i'm not going to say I don't like myself.....because I DO......... but I don't think anyone would like me.....there's just something not likeable about me......and i'm trying to fix many things about me in hope of becoming a normal likable person......
KHODAYA ....KOMAKAM KON ....KOMAKAM KON NAZAR INJA BEMOONAM TAA BEPOOSAM
They called me on friday to schedule me a shift from 11- 5 but I thought I want to have that day off because it was such a beautiful sunny day.....I'd planned to go for a run in the morning and then spend the rest of the day shopping or just chilling in Ambleside park........ but guess what ??? that didn't happen!
I was in bed until noon......finally got up....wasted another hour.....took a shower.... (that rhymed ;))......then......came out....... at around 3 watched Dr. Phil until 4.......then got ready to go out...... missed my bus.....decided to stay home ..... and started reading a book named "hasti".......
it's a pretty good book.....quite long though!
anyways........after realizing that I will go crazy by staying at home......I took someones shift on sunday(today) ......and then talked to my parents......and read that book......+ the safe driving guide.......I have to keep myself busy otherwise I'll go crazy.......
and u know what.......the thought of finding love has become such an unreachable idea that I don't even think about it that much......
Mr. V is the last one......and I know that I didn't try to make it work because I don't think too much of myself..... and whenever I think about trying harder I think about him first........and what / how I need to be in order to get a guy like that!!!
I'm not nessecarily saying that he's the one...... in fact he is not.... he's an example of someone who could be an ideal match for me.......and I will try to complete myself in order to believe that someone like that could someday want me.....
wow......how aasheghaaneh...lol.....
but it's true.....on the other hand.....right now....... I think NOTHING about myself.....i'm not going to say I don't like myself.....because I DO......... but I don't think anyone would like me.....there's just something not likeable about me......and i'm trying to fix many things about me in hope of becoming a normal likable person......
KHODAYA ....KOMAKAM KON ....KOMAKAM KON NAZAR INJA BEMOONAM TAA BEPOOSAM
posted by TolooehFardaa at
1:41 AM
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