BI EHSAAS!

That's what I've been called.....by many people....... but I don't agree with them.... I know that I could be careless at some times.......and I don't like to be around sensative people.... an example of a sensative person is my sister... I made her cry......for no reason..... well she told me that she's dissapointed in me because of some things that I have done in the past and present...

but I DONT CARE..... I've been hurt by her so many times....constantly actually...... that it's not important for me what she thinks about me ....... or wether she likes me or not .... it's not something that I can forgive and forget.... because she has her way of hurting me in one way or another every time she sees me ... and she thinks that I have no feelings ...... so she thinks that the things she tells me don't bother me ..... she doesn't like my behaviour, my attitude , my personality, my looks ....or in general nothing about me.... but I am her sister and I guess she thinks it's her duty to like me ... and since she's so sensative she wants me to like her back ..... we had had a good past when we were younger .. but now ... I have no comments ..... I have stopped caring for her like many others ... I love my mom, dad and brother more .... I am very sad to say this but it's true .... and it's probably because I live with them ..... and they respect me more than she does ...... so .......

but the wall that I have built around myself and my heart is so high and hard that entering into it is almost impossible .... even for my parents!

I might change in the future ...... I don't enjoy the fact that no one likes me! I'm probably unlikable ..... but the sad part is that most of the time it doesn't bother me .... or maybe it does but I'm too stubborn or helpless to change myself! I have to find a reason ...... in search for the reason...... :)