NEWS!

hahaha........

today I saw him on the street..... he was all alone! and they tell me that he has bad friends......... he looked so lonely ........ but I know that he has a gf now.....so I'm not worried about him.......

it was so awkward....... my heart sank...... or I made it sink lol...... I just passed him and maybe I was glad that he didn't see me ( or at least he was looking away!) ....so I had no reason to blush...lol...... but after I was like ......sh*T........and I thought about him for a while......and it's not even worth thinking about........it's just a nice memory........ thanks to him I had at least ONE extremely beautiful day in the past 8 years of my life... so ..... whatever

the second news is that we are moving......and I thought what if he comes to vancouver and doesn't find me....... but i'm 95% sure that he wouldn't come....... I'd offered to pay 500$ for him to come here (yes maybe I was that desperate to see him and god knows that I was more than happy to pay even more for him to come here) but he still hesitated it ...and didn't think that I was worth his time....or whatever........so I don't care..........

third news is that I have been in a very awkward stage for the past maybe 3 weeks....(since the day that I didn't see P) ......... I have had like a break ...lol......from her! hahaha.....but to be honest with ME it has been kind of nice ....... I have been having too many dreams that prevent me from waking up! like seriously ... I guess it's a good thing to have dreams......but it's weird.....

and the fourth news is that she has become so weird lately........i'm kind of worried about her......and being the "insensible" me I'm not that worried.... I just feel sorry for her.........so.... but actually it does occupy my mind...... but I don't think I can help her.......

and........ what else........... I donnow!

so far I'm doing really well in spanish! clap clap clap! hahaha

I still have time! I haven't given up YET ............

just trying hard to keep up the :)......

but the weird thing is that I'm :) with no people around me..... I think I hung out with people for a while and got sick of them........so I've enjoyed being alone......eventhough it has been about 3 weeks!

I guess I know why.......... I tried to make plans for "us" to go out a few times but each time someone said that they can't come and cancelled the plan........and that irritated me so much..... 2-3 times........that I kind of gave up........and said well "f*** them" .......and ever since that quote has kind of stuck with me! LOL

anyways........ I'm looking forward to spending time to do some improvements....and make me and my life happier...and for some reason this does not include having any friends or relationships......... it almost seems like I have given up on trying to make friendships with people! it just doesn't work....... and I don't care who is responsible for it...........let's blame it all on me! I'm planing to make me happy in some other ways.....and I will let u know if it happens :D