he wasn't man enough for me!
Har rafighe raahi baa man do se roozi hamsafar shod
Entehaayeh har refaaghat vaase man che zood gozar shod
Har ki baa zemzemeyeh eshgh do se roozi aashegham shod
Eshghe oon baaese marge hameyeh daghaayegham shod......
wow
it's amazing how i feel....or what i do not feel...towards people......
i guess i did waste all my feeling together at once at the end of summer over two people ....... how disgusting to say it was more than 1 person......but it's true ...... it was..... and there's still a a lil bit of that feeling left.........for god knows what reason......
a few nights ago i had a dream about him......he had come here with like a Jeep kind of car.......a white one ( man in shining armour with his "white" horse lol)........anyways..... he was here.... not looking for me....he got off the car to throw out his garbage or somehing... i guess Eimen was the driver......then i saw him from a distance......couldn't believe my eyes! i went closer and said hi....and he smiled......and walked towards me.... and gave me a hug...... he was wearing a dark gray t shirt.......and he was hot..... it was a weird feeling to hug him ....because i usually don't hug guys..(except for the gay guys at work lol) ...... so it was weird .... he looked like .....hmm...weird......not as good lookin as i'd seen in the pictures....and I did not know what to think of him! should i still like him regardless of the way he looks? and as u know i'm not secure at all about the way i look..... so i thought if he accepts my appearence i'll accept his as well........LOL.... i know this all sounds so weird.......anyways the bad news is that i had to wake up and go to school.....
but it's weird how I don't have any feelings for people anymore! like 80 percent of the time......except for the times that i am extremely bored i want to be alone like at least 75 percent of the time..... and the guy that i was interested in a lil bit ( A) is almost finally out of my mind... like seriously he's not my type at all......and i avoid calling him because everytime i talk to him i start thinking about him and missing him for absoloutely no reason........ he's a good flirter and mokhe mano mizaneh..... manam ke adameh saadeh..... i have absoloutely no control over my heart....... i can tell my brain to stop thinking and start forgetting...... but can't tell my heart to stop beating!!!
hamin digeh .......that was the news.....
but i almost don't like how i have become almost NUMB ...... it's kind of sad when u don't miss anyone and don't care about anyone....
it's so WEIRD
i have not been sad or depressed lately.....just NUMB
Entehaayeh har refaaghat vaase man che zood gozar shod
Har ki baa zemzemeyeh eshgh do se roozi aashegham shod
Eshghe oon baaese marge hameyeh daghaayegham shod......
wow
it's amazing how i feel....or what i do not feel...towards people......
i guess i did waste all my feeling together at once at the end of summer over two people ....... how disgusting to say it was more than 1 person......but it's true ...... it was..... and there's still a a lil bit of that feeling left.........for god knows what reason......
a few nights ago i had a dream about him......he had come here with like a Jeep kind of car.......a white one ( man in shining armour with his "white" horse lol)........anyways..... he was here.... not looking for me....he got off the car to throw out his garbage or somehing... i guess Eimen was the driver......then i saw him from a distance......couldn't believe my eyes! i went closer and said hi....and he smiled......and walked towards me.... and gave me a hug...... he was wearing a dark gray t shirt.......and he was hot..... it was a weird feeling to hug him ....because i usually don't hug guys..(except for the gay guys at work lol) ...... so it was weird .... he looked like .....hmm...weird......not as good lookin as i'd seen in the pictures....and I did not know what to think of him! should i still like him regardless of the way he looks? and as u know i'm not secure at all about the way i look..... so i thought if he accepts my appearence i'll accept his as well........LOL.... i know this all sounds so weird.......anyways the bad news is that i had to wake up and go to school.....
but it's weird how I don't have any feelings for people anymore! like 80 percent of the time......except for the times that i am extremely bored i want to be alone like at least 75 percent of the time..... and the guy that i was interested in a lil bit ( A) is almost finally out of my mind... like seriously he's not my type at all......and i avoid calling him because everytime i talk to him i start thinking about him and missing him for absoloutely no reason........ he's a good flirter and mokhe mano mizaneh..... manam ke adameh saadeh..... i have absoloutely no control over my heart....... i can tell my brain to stop thinking and start forgetting...... but can't tell my heart to stop beating!!!
hamin digeh .......that was the news.....
but i almost don't like how i have become almost NUMB ...... it's kind of sad when u don't miss anyone and don't care about anyone....
it's so WEIRD
i have not been sad or depressed lately.....just NUMB
posted by TolooehFardaa at
12:48 AM
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