Meditation is not the way to go....at least not for me

I don't know if I've written about this here before or not.....but I went to a meditation class ....... and enjoyed it very much...... so it's a way to relax u etc.

let me tell u what situation I'm in right now ........and u tell me how much meditation can help someone like me!

There are some problems that are beyond anyone's ability to get solve. When you are lonely in your heart and soul and have discovered that you don't have the ability to like people for one reason or the other, when we talk about the problem of epression, not because of the lack of intelligence, or not even so much appearance. When you have problems with the ones you love the most. When you are hurt by the ones who tell u they love you the most. When those people think that you are heartless and tell you things that hurt your mind and soul, when you live around these people everyday and when you wake up in the morning knowing that your loved ones think so little of you " oh ur ugly, oh ur stupid, oh u have no style" how can you find the strength to get oout of the bed knowing that there is not a single soul out there who loves you. I mean truely loves you despite al the things you have and don't have.

This is my problem. I do not have the strength to go on. But believe me I'm trying to ignore all that. Failure is not an option for me. This will be my second failure and if I do fail I will not survive. Do I understand that? I'm not sure I do. I sleep a significant amount of time in the day and ignore the fact that I need to, no I MUST go on!

I can think about the love that I don't have all I want. But at the end of the day I'd have added another problem on top of everything else and I don't think that will make me feel any better would it?? I DONT THINK SO!

SO PLEASE GOD HELP ME GO ON