This is where I stand today.........

Ah..........I thought about him so much today that he's back AGAIN......

u know what it's hard to explain but I'm going to try to say how I feel......... he always made me say what's on my mind...even when I didn't want to....and I always tried.......but he was never satisfied in the end.......

no.........I'm not talking about my boyfriend.........I'm talking about a person who happened to be a guy ....who entered my life and became a huge part of it for no reason and then left.........

(after 2 mins)

see..........I'm still having problems saying how I felt about him.......

I can not decide if my feelings were true or not! I just can't know..........

How can u know if u like someone or not when u haven't even seen them in person?

Just the fact that he talked to me and made me think that I'm a likable person was more than enough for me to start to l........l........LIKE.....him.........or more than just like him.......

but now when I think about it he was never good at remembering the things that I told him......and he sometimes forgot the things/ stories that he had told me....... I still think that I was not important enough for him to remember the things that I told him.......

and I'm now more than sure that he's still not over his last GF......... I feel kind of bad for him because was happened to him was almost tragic and I wonder if he's ever going to love and trust someone again..........

he's now with someone ...... a girl who seems to be very experienced (in a good way. eg. she's gone to Africa to teach etc. ) and beautiful! (have I said these things here before? I'm sorry if I'm reapiting it......) .........anywayz..........they look good together....... and for some reason I'm jealous..... I just don't like her........he has another friend that I like and don't mind if he goes out with :D ...... there's just something unlikable about this girl.......maybe it's because of the fact that she's always :D ............

anywayz....... I am just not a good match for him I know that.........I was just interested in him because he seemed to care about me........

and god knows how desperate I am for that! to have someone who really TRUELY cares about me....... ( in the end I realized that he didn't ) .........

anywayz....... I'm not thinking of ever going to his city....... I had a dream about him a few nights ago ......we were both in a place......... something like the laundary room.......and I kept trying to hid behind him..........so if he moved left I moved with him ..... behinde him so he won't see me...... in the end I stepped on somethin ...or something fell that made him turn around....and he saw me....... and eventhough I wanted to give him the dirtiest look possible........I smiled at him...... and he did to.......and then walked away.........

so if ur askin about what I think about him.........I don't like him anymore........ he's become something that I'd like to run away from........ just like the first time.........

it's almost two in the morning now and I wanna go to sleep.........

ZzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZzz