This is ma F*cking heart ur playin with bi*ch

I guess by now u've realized how much anger I've trapped inside of me........

Honestly.......if u see me......or for those of u who have seen me.....u'd know that I'm a pretty peaceful person..........

Sometimes I'm so quiet that I get tired of the silence that I create.........

I was just thinking......wondering about how i could prevent myself from falling for someone who might one day come along....... someone that I'd like!

u know......there are so many f*cking players out there that I bet I wouldn't be able to see the difference........ I don't like to judge people by the way they look........but most of the good looking ones are in fact people who are just out there to get u.......or as I call them .......... "the vampires"......

I kind of believed in my vampire.........I believed that he was just a lonely person who was tired of all the bi*ches around him and was ready to move on and start a relationship with someone who cares..... ( ew ... i don't like calling him "my v****" ........but anywayz).........

I donnow if I've told u about my feelings about this guy.......Oh i bet I have about a thousand times but tonight is a new night......and to re-assure myself I'm gonna repeat it once more....

I thank god everyday for not helping me get into a relationship with that guy........ I mean I was just a mouse running after the good smelling chedar cheese..but it was a trap.........

Not in a thousand years could I imagine a future with that guy.......and when u can't imagine something as important as a future with someone........ u can not start nothing with them ( yes that was a double negative sentence)

so ur probably wondering why the h**l I'm still talking about someone who wsa only part of my life for in total 4 hours..... about 5 monthes ago!

well.........first of all his birthday is coming up........... second of all, going out with him was the most exciting thing that EVER happened in my whole entire life...... third of all.......... umm... what the ......... I was gonna tell u about why I didn't want that guy.......

ehem....... I honestly can't put it into any words...... He was just not my type...

when I think about Mr. V now I can never regret having known him ( is this sentence gramatically right? ) ....... because he was a good guy.......and I liked him in so many ways....... the only thing he needs is a little maturity.........then he'll be perfect........ but w/e...... I wish him and his new girl a very happy life......

and as for myself........ did u know that I'm turning 21 in exactly 34 days? of course u did! because I've mentioned it many times in the last month........

I have my spanish test tomorrow.....and for some reason I'm very very very very very very very very very very very very very unmotivated and sad right now........

wondering why I was ever borne... and feeling like I don't fit into this world....and sh*t like that......

but I also know that tomorrow is a new day.......and I have no choice but to live it.....

I wonder if I'm ever gonna be happy .........

anywayz.... that's it for now....... i'm gonna try to go study for my examen de espanol .......

solamente estuide para 1-2 horas....... ya me voy..ciao