Fake!

Oh I'm soooo distracted right now........well..........I came home... slept......... woke up.......talked to my family............ chated ...........for some new people whom I absolutely hated! ......and now here I am.....and u know what I'm not going to do?

I'm not going to tell u how sad, mad, unhappy etc. I am..........

OoooooooooOOOps.........Ok ..........I'm gonna stop right here because if I continue my mood will go back to what it was this afternoon when I cam so close to going to the nearest bridge and........

ok... don't be scared......... it was just a thought............

anywayz.......... POSITIVE POSITIVE STAY POSITIVE

(i'm sure if anyone ever reads this, and for those of u who are reading this u probably think that I'm crazy or something.......... maybe I'm ......maybe I'm not! I honestly donnow that myself)

about the title of this post..........I'm talking about me....because I'm always :)............but at the end of the day I'm so :( that I wonder how the h*ll I could ever be :) before that! it just amazes me! ...........

people .......... I love people................ I love talking to people............ as long as we get along and everything goes well...........but as soon as something goes wrong......... I start wondering about my differences and why I can't be one of "them"

um................ HAPPY HAPPY HAPPY THOUGHTS

ok........ so in order to create a BRIGHT future I need to have a plan............

and this plan does involve people..... in fact it requires lots of people...........and I believe that people can change.......... I also believe that it's extremely hard to change but it's doable.......... I did it once.........twice..........or maybe three times........... I have changed significantly ........ from the day I was borne..........from last year......... wow........ u wouldn't believe how much I've changed.......... my own family sometimes doesn't recognize me........... I was an extremely confident person during my elementary school years in Iran.... like seriously.......... I had the courage to talk in front of 1000 of people......... act in front of them...... play the major role in a play........... only because I was the best of the best........... and I did believe in that...... I just need to be that person again.............

and I know that by sitting at home chatting (which I don't do much at all......... I swear........ after what happened with me and my long distance love life ( oh I'm finally strong enough to call it that!!!) I've given up) ......... so reality.......... I HAVE TO FOCUS AND KEEP MY FOCUS ON REALITY...........

reality is what's out there ......... in the streets............ the people.........the people that I am so different from........are part of the reality........and I have no choice but to somehow get myself involved ..........not because I need "work experience" to get into commerce ......... but because I need to save me from me and my very very VERY lonely world..... I know that I don't like people in general...... I usually think that theyr'e stupid ........... be gholeh khodam RIZ MIBINAMETOON..........but that doesn't mean that I can stay away from them..........

so I'm going to try............I'm going to have many many failures..........and I WILL ACCEPT THAT........... I WON'T GET DISCOURAGED BY MY FAILURES.......... I know that I'm different and it might take me a good year or more to come back to life..... right now I'm just so far away from it that ........... I can barely see it ....... so......... yea........... I'LL TRY MY BEST I WILL PROMISE............

so here's le plan grande!

je vais conentrate en ma vie, j'aim aprendre le francais et l'espagnol parce que j'aim etuier langues. Je dois practiquer le jour e le nuit et regarde la tele.

Es muy importante para mi a aprenderlos. No se como, pero voy a hacerlo.

Es muy dificil a aprender una idioma sin practicar. Debo que vivir en una ciudad donde toda la gente hablar espanol o francia.

Sobre "Le plan grande"

I will study One chapter of psychology each day, tonight, tomorrow, saturday, and sunday.

At the same time I will study French Saturday, Sunday. And monday French all day.

see ...... I'm leaving my life behind again......... but I feel good now because I've written so much stuff here that I feel like I've talked to someone....... :D ........... next time I feel bad I'll write some more..........

but for now........... I shall say goodbye to u my dear WEBLOG ...........

we shall be together for every and alwayz.........until death do us apart!