How sad!
Well...I kind of feel like I am at the stage where I was near January......but I am trying SO HARD not to be d*p**s**d......... yes.... and I'm realizing that it's so hard to trick yourself.. (almost impossible) but doable!
I can totally see improvements.....I don't think I'll ever be as sad as I was back then! ........but I just realized something today......as I was thinking of how I spent my lonely days back then ....... I remembered that I shoped A LOT.......and now... since I have A LOT of new clothes and as they say "esraaf haraam ast" I can't buy anything else......so I go into malls ....looking around..........desperately wanting to buy something nice for me.....then I realize that I can't force myself to do it.......I don wanna be wasting my money no more......the most that I've spent on me over the last month = $100 on clothes......... I'm spending more money on food these days.....because I get hungry a lot......and I'm getting FAT :D...... but whatever....
I have a psych test that I NEED TO study for ......I really wanna do good on this test.....and eventhough I've studied for it so much in the last few days........the most that I actually understood from the many hours that I put into reading it is max 6 hours..... so .........yea......
I'm working 9 hours tomorrow......I'll have sunday + monday......I'm so energetic right now.......:).......something nice happened....... well this guy from work (by the way he is persian ehem ehem) walked me to the sky train station after work (it was 11!!!) .........and he actually asked me to go to this persian tea house with him if I want..........he's cute but totally not my type ... but the fact that people actually do nice things for me and "see me" is very encouraging..... I donnow... I have always thought that people are scared of me or something.... they want to avoid talking to me.... but everytime I start a conversation with someone they continue talking to me! and I get surprised every time! it's so cool to be VISIBLE once in a while...........
kholaase that totally made my night.......I'm going to sleep with a :) on my face........
khodaayaa...SHOKRET
I can totally see improvements.....I don't think I'll ever be as sad as I was back then! ........but I just realized something today......as I was thinking of how I spent my lonely days back then ....... I remembered that I shoped A LOT.......and now... since I have A LOT of new clothes and as they say "esraaf haraam ast" I can't buy anything else......so I go into malls ....looking around..........desperately wanting to buy something nice for me.....then I realize that I can't force myself to do it.......I don wanna be wasting my money no more......the most that I've spent on me over the last month = $100 on clothes......... I'm spending more money on food these days.....because I get hungry a lot......and I'm getting FAT :D...... but whatever....
I have a psych test that I NEED TO study for ......I really wanna do good on this test.....and eventhough I've studied for it so much in the last few days........the most that I actually understood from the many hours that I put into reading it is max 6 hours..... so .........yea......
I'm working 9 hours tomorrow......I'll have sunday + monday......I'm so energetic right now.......:).......something nice happened....... well this guy from work (by the way he is persian ehem ehem) walked me to the sky train station after work (it was 11!!!) .........and he actually asked me to go to this persian tea house with him if I want..........he's cute but totally not my type ... but the fact that people actually do nice things for me and "see me" is very encouraging..... I donnow... I have always thought that people are scared of me or something.... they want to avoid talking to me.... but everytime I start a conversation with someone they continue talking to me! and I get surprised every time! it's so cool to be VISIBLE once in a while...........
kholaase that totally made my night.......I'm going to sleep with a :) on my face........
khodaayaa...SHOKRET
posted by TolooehFardaa at
12:34 AM
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