WTF

I'm sure I've used this same title before....but I had nothing else that could describe what I'm about to say here.............

Am I jealous of her or am I just mad at her?

I donnow...probably both!

She finally got to exactly where she wanted to be...... she had her fun.....she has her life.....bf *.......job** ......and a bright future ahead of her........and me .........hamchenaan andarkhameh yek koocheam

I donnow why I'm so mad at her....... I think that she thinks I'm a no body.....she thinks I'm too naive..... she doesn't know me at all.......after so many years she still doesn't know me.... I'm just not comfortable around herl........maybe it's because I think she's better than me...... I'm not sure.....

Today she said that she got into UBC..... I know that I should be happy for her...... but I'm not .......when I said "congratulations" I didn't mean it.......I think I lied....... but I didn't mean to lie...... i'm seriously not sure if I should be happy for her or not.......

She was the one who made my life a little bit fun in the past few years...... I mean before she left........ that's why I can't bring myself to DISLIKE someone who'd made some days of my life the best moments since I'd stepped into this crazy world...... that's why I can not say "I hate you" and mean it...... after all she didn't do anything wrong but succeed.....why is that so hard for me to accept and understand? I don't know!

* the one guy I had a crush onnnnn... isn't that funny? I mean it was nothing serious but out of all the people in orkut he had caught my eyes and I had even planned to call himmmmm... this is just way too funny!

** she's working at a bank....... I mean com onnnnn.. that's what I had always wanted to do!