My dear # 3

He is the first thing I think about when I open my eyes in the morning and the last thing that's on my mind when I'm going to sleep @ nigh!

But le'mmee tell ya......this ain't no love!!!

He is the only thing I think about during the day....... and everytime I think about him my heart starts beating .....in an unusual way...........that drives me crazy!!!!

But I'm sure this is not love!!!

When I'm walking down the street sometimes I get lost in my thoughts and start smiling......oh poor people probably think that I'm crazy..........

But guess what? don't tell me u donnow....

I'm sorry what was that ? ...what? u think I'm in love?

After telling u that I'm not u're still saying that...

Well, I can understand why..... but I have proof.......I mean not a "proof" because it's not something that can be touched .......it's just a feeling......and I tell u what it issss..... it's nerrrrvousness..... I can even swear to god if u dont believe me.....

Ok......u're probably wondering what makes me nervous? (aaay ghalbam...vaase man asaab nazaaashte haa!!!) ........ allright........here's the reason why.....first of alllll, I wouldn't be joking if I said he's the mossssst handsome, charming guy that I have everrrrr met in my life, he seriosuly does look like a model!!!! Second of all, he has the nicessst voice anyone could everrr have.... it's very very verrrrrrry deep.....Third of all, he has the most AMAZING personality everrrr.... when I talk to him I feel like I'm talking with an old friend...it's so funny......and at last, but not least, putting these things I said aside, he's about a year younger than me...I meannnn that's just hilarious....... I alwayz ALWAYZ thought that I would someday start dating someone who is at least 6-7 years older than myself (did I go on a "Date" with this guy the other dayyy? I donnow, but we certainly went out......) .....

don't tell me you still donnow the reason why I'm nervous!! ......omg......are u stup**.... I mean....:D ...it's ok...... I'll give u a conclusion...that might help! ok he is young, so freaking handsome, and has great voice... has probably dated 1000 different girls before.... so i'm pretty sure he can choose whomever he wants ..... 2nd conclusion: he needs to be "entertained" or see something "impressive" to stay with someone, right?....... now u understand why right??????still, noooooo? ok.....do I look like someone who can do those thingsssss? excuse me? no plzzzzzz think twice before u answer.... I kind of run out of words everytime I start talking to people.....I have nothing interesting to tell them.......which goes back to the fact that I personally AM NOT a very interesting person!!! And to be honest with u, I can't imagine a future with him at alll... I mean just picture this "me and him walking down the street and all the girls running after him behind me.... lol......" ......

Now, the dillema is this: ....... eventhough i don't see any future I can't help myself but to WANT TO spend more time with him...I mean why not? I've got nothin better to do ........and he's absolutely amazzzzzzzing.... so why not? As long as I don't get used to him and not fall in love with him it's ok.......

By the wayyyy, I spent the whole day yesterday THINKING of calling him....like seriously I'm not joking.. I woke up at 9 in the morning and thought about calling him until I go to work at 5 thirty..... I just couldnt do it!! my heart was having a weird rhythem and everytime I went close to the phone my whole body wanted to go crazy.... but as soon as I went to work I just KNEW that I can not NOT call him last night.... so this time I was so determined that I'd do this and won't care about the consequences.....so I DID call, and my voice was shaking at first (hopefully he didn't notice) ..... I listened to his AMAZING voice for about half an hour........ yes I did manage to talk to him ON THE PHONE for that long.....that is certainly an accomplishment!!!

anywayz I donnow what will happen but I know that I dont want anything to happen..... but still wanna spend more time with him.....and I guess what I don't want and do want don't go togetehr..... so I hope G helps me with all this ........ u will right? :) thank uuu

The first song that I had in mind when I thought about him was this >> "harchi bekhaay hamoon misham... baahaat mimoonam hamishe......ageh begi doosam daari.. har chi bekhay hamoon mishe....." this is the songg...but the only part of it that I was reapiting in my head was "harchi bekhaay hamoon misham" ....... anywayzzzzzz........

so just for ur information..I'm NOT in love or anythinggg....get that into ur head!!!

Harche pish aayad khosh aayad.........

ok I tell u what I want..... I want to spend time with him....... like sit next to him.....or walk with him.... no talking...... just be in the same place together.... that's what I want.......don't ask me why ... that's what i FEEL like I WANT........